An Every 2 Month Post.

My last post was a week short of 2 months but I not apologizing. What do I have to apologize for? How often I write on this blog ( I have two others now) was dependent on my readers, since I had very few comments on this one compared to my main blog. This was supposed to be an interactive blog as you can see from the blurb below the blog title.

I still have more material for Friendship but I just don't have the time to write another post. Some more thoughts on Friendship. Why is it that some people seem to sustain  a friendship only for a short period and then they move on to another friend, although the first friend had not done anything to severe the friendship. They seem to do this repeatedly. As soon as the friendship becomes stronger, they cut off the friendship? Is it a matter of fear, commitment issues, a self-fulfilling prophecy or a bad habit?
 
Just wondering if I should have guest bloggers for this blog. What do you think?

Is friendship allowed for Healthcare Professionals.

Studies have shown  the negative consequences of friendship of health professionals toward their clients or patients. The negative consequences is the result of not following certain rules that govern professional friendships. Firstly, the client or patient is seen as vulnerable, so the professional have to cautious of crossing boundaries that will cause the client to feel a need to give affection or receive affection from the professional. Sometimes though a client will feel the need to know more  private history about the professional that they have related their private information and weaknesses to.

Generally, the majority of  professionals abide by ethical rules regarding such friendships. Information received from clients or patients are kept confidential. Health professionals don't usually discuss their personal problems with their patients,

Actually a true professional's friendship with a client is of an altuistic kind. They give support, health, listening attitude, friendship, advice, treatment without judgement, bias and sometimes not even expecting gratitude in return. After all is that not unconditional love??? Is that not empowering???

PC Nicholas

As the Friendship Wanes

"Friendship is a double-edged sword." DixonRivers  from Blog Catalog

Have you had a trusted friend who had harmed you, gossiped behind your back, cheated on you, betrayed your trust and confidence? Yes, most of you are nodding. Some best friends have become enemies, especially someone you trusted with your secrets.

Sometimes it could be a misunderstanding, a lack of proper communication or it could be the choice you made or the friend you attracted. ....

"One sort of friend is a friend when it suits him but he will not be with you in time of distress."
"Another is a friend when all goes well, he is your other self, but when you're brought low, he avoids you."
                                                                                                                                Bk. of Sirach

True, strong friendships are tested by time, distance, challenges and the ever-present egos. Like all relationships, friendships go through many of the same cycles. You must have heard of people marrying their best friends and when the marriage dissolved, the friendship still remained, which is fortunate for the children concerned.

I've seen how
best friends turned enemies, have forgiven each other and their friendship have become stronger. I've also seen best friends who've not forgiven and there is a sadness that pervades their lives. So I really think in order to get on with your life's journey, you should make the effort to forgive, even if the friendship does not return to its former glory.

Next week, we'll conclude with a special kind of friendship, perhaps the most altruistic one and the controversy surrounding it.
PNicholas

A Faithful Friend is a Life Saving Remedy

I left off the last post to inquire from my internet social networking group called Blog Catalog, their thoughts about friendship. Some of the comments which you will see below reminded me of other aspects of friendship? Apparently, there are friends but if you have 900  friends on the internet, surely they are all not friends in the true sense of the word. In fact, how many "friends" on the internet have you seen or phoned or even know their real name?

Many "friends" on Blog Catalog don't give their real name, e-mail address or phone number to their general friend list. The ones who I consider my genuine friends on Blog Catalog, are those that I have exchange mailing address or phone numbers. These are only 0.5% of the number of friends listed on my profile page.  Yet, there are more who have usually responded to my discussion threads but we do not carry any conversations outside of Blog Catalog.

So it begs the question? Who are your true, trusted friends? To answer that we first have to find the characteristic of these genuine friends. To help in this, I will share the comments that the Blog Catalog friends posted on my thread, and a couple of these have become my friends in the past couple of years.

Friendship is... (according to these members from Blog Catalog)
,,.... growing together. (Sprigblossoms)
... is a blessing for all ages. (Nothing Profound)
...opening the songbook in your heart and having another sing the same tune.(TimeThief)
... able to talk and relate to him or her. When you find a good friend, better appreciate what you have. Good friends are rare.(Broken Blade)
....is sharing what's common and embracing what is different. (Yunyi 2009)

The above comments are really appreciated.  They reflect this saying in the Book of Sirach.
"A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter, he who finds one finds a treasure. ....beyond price, no sum can balance his worth."

We also had some comments that went like this.
Friendship is a double-headed sword. (Dixon Rivers)
There are other friendships in the Humansphere. Yes, your good friend can become your foe. Friendship can turn "sour" for a number of reasons. Can that be prevented? Do all friendship follow the Give and Take Formula? Stay tuned for the next episode...As the Friendship turns,... in the next couple of weeks.

PC Nicholas

Friendship - A Life or Death Choice ? Part I

Questions that Require Answers
Does having friends make you live longer? Did you choose your friends? Or did they choose you? Was it circumstantial or was it a deliberated, calculated plan on your part or theirs?

In this fascinating investigation of friendship which includes the results of studies done in the late 1990's, this series about friendship will show the difference of the friendship of men versus women and the impact it had on their health and mortality. Studies are still ongoing with regards to friendship and the latest is one conducted by scientist in regard to online friendships and their field of investigation is none other than Face Book, one of the largest social network sites which is like a free group of online subjects.

One particular area of friendship, I will be touching on is the area of friendship of health professional and their clients. I know there are many health professionals who are finding online and phone therapies cloud the boundaries between a therapeutic friendship and a non-therapeutic one. What if someone is already a good friend and wants to be your client. Usually, if it is a chronic condition, I've declined and referred them elsewhere. What if your satisfied client decides to become your friend? In Part 2 of this investigation, I will address that.

Friendship among Women

Researchers in a UCLA study, found that when oxytocin which is released as part of the stress responses in a woman buffers her fight and flight responses and encourages her to tend children and gather with other women which in turn produces a calming effect  This is opposite to men producing testosterone in high levels when they are stressed. Later it was noted that when women were stressed during the research, they came in to the lab, had coffee and bonded, while the men stayed each by himself.    (Taylor, Klein,Lewis,Gurung &Gruenewald2002)

Another study showed that people who had no friends increased their risk of death over a 6 month period. The Nurses Health Study from Harvard Medical School found that the more friends women had, the less likely they were to develop physical impairments as they aged and lived happy lives.
Please feel free to send me your comments and I might include it in my next post in early March.
Now I'll go and put a thread on the discussions on my social network online and see what my online friends have to say! Hope you will ponder on this quote.

"Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathize with a friend's success."
- Oscar Wilde 

PC Nicholas

Back in La Jolla

On a winter days like today with a windchill of -20C, it's just an excellent idea to return to San Diego, and the day trip we had to La Jolla in September 2010. It was a very warm Sunday day as the tour bus drove us up the picturesque hills to La Jolla and on our way there, we took a detour to Birch acquarium which is situated on a bluff overlooking the Pacific Ocean.

There are 60 habitats of fishes and invertebrates there.There was the Hall of the fishes, the coral reef and outside was a tide pool plaza where we could touch the creatures that were in the shallow waters. Have you ever seen a leafy sea dragon? Perhaps I should leave it to  Nathan of Wild Facts to write up on it.

La Jolla is surrounded by ocean bluffs on 3 sides and spectacular homes of the very wealthy, as it has the highest home prices in the US. Twelve miles of beaches on one side, with several sea-level caves in the northern shores. It was a treat to see whole families of seals or sea lions basking on the huge rocks below.
Divers and people on canoes and paddle boats were on the shimmering waters. It was a lovely trip with a very informative guide.

Will be back in the cold winter climate for Ottawa's famous winter festival for our next post.

Edit: Nathan has written a fabulous post with pictures on 19/01/11 on the leafy sea dragon. Check it out at his site.  http://www.wild-facts.com

PC Nicholas

A Good Start for the New Year

As I looked back, I'm thankful for the year past as some seeds planted then, are now sprouting in this garden of my life. For my readers in the North, you might think, I'm having illusions as how can anything sprout in the cold winter season where the ground is covered in a blanket of snow. Yet the seeds are there ready to sprout.

However, in the garden of our minds, the seeds of inspiration and ideas are always there waiting for the right conditions to sprout. So what are the right conditions. Showers of laughter, you know the belly laugh variety, the soil fertilizers of forgiveness and gratitude. Then the time of reflection and meditation is added for germination to occur. Simple isn't it? It's not so easy or simple as you write, you most probably are thinking. You're right? Did you see a full grown corn grow over-night after planting or even a week or a month later. No, so you have to continue providing the right conditions for your seeds, ie, ideas, inspirations to sprout and grow.

I was looking for an office to continue my energy therapies or RET business. I did all the above and after 6 months, I've found a space in a Wellness Clinic. I will be seeing clients 3 days a week which might include some Saturdays. It is in the East End of Ottawa. Perhaps, I'll see you there one of these days. I'm also going to facilitate a Boost Your Energy monthly class. The first one starts on January 22nd 2011. You will find more on my other blog -

Next post, we will be visiting an aquarium in La Jolla California to get some relief from winter!
PC Nicholas